trying to get back to you
by 1 FANtastic
Summary: Its been three years since ana left Christian. Since then Christian rarely speaks to his family because of their close relationship wit ana but what will happen after ana gets engaged
1. Chapter 1

Fuck! I hate today three years ago today she left me. She is all I can call her now because her name fills me with a feelin I no longer can feel becuz I no longer have her. But like most days here I sit at my desk and stare at the glider she bought me and I hate to admit it but its jus like she said it reminds me of happier times Fuck can this day get worst

" i have a here to see I" goddamit I know what she wants but I tools her no over and over

"Andrea send her in " a few seconds later there she stand with a handful of papers which she throws at me

"Christian I'm tired of this funk u been in here are 12 subs pick one"

APOV

"Jose stop"

I hate bein tickled but yet here I am laughin like a lunatic

"Ana i will not stop until u stop lookin soo sad"

Of course I'm sad because i left he first man I ever loved three years ago today but I could never tell Jose that

"Jose I'm jus a lil upset about work u know how uncomfortable jack makes me"

"Ana u know u don't have to work"

"I know butI love my job...anyway let's get ready for dinner at grace and carricks Kate and mia have been really pushy about finite and I don't know y" at that very moment I think what if christian is there that would explain y Kate insisted that I bought a new dress and get my hair curled.

" Well lets get go in babe " I can't think straight for a moment but Jose happy mood pulls me to the now y in the world is he soo happy. But its something goin on I know it .

"Jose are u OK with goin to grace and carrick house"

"Ana Ur close with them and they care for u so yes I feel completely comfortable" and then he gets in the shower

I mean me grace and mia grew close but now matter how many dinner party's I went to no sign of him. He barely talks to his family ever and I think I have something to do with that. I have to get my mind off of him so I jump in the shower behind my way too happy boyfriend


	2. Chapter 2

I know Elena jus wants to help me feel better but I tried a new sub and it doesn't work I jus feel worst after wards. But I'll go along with it jus for now. After having a very long and pointless conversation with Elena I realize its 5 o'clock and I need to see leila. After her meltdown I sent her to Flynn to get treated and he tells me she is on the up and up and that gives me some piece of mind

As I walk in her room I hear her singing and when she turns around I almost wanna cry because i never seen her look soo much like ana but her brown eyes betray her and I snap out of it.

"Hello leila" she jus stears at me

"I talked toFlynn and he said u will be leaving soon" the joy i see in her eyes makes me wanna smile but I don't

"Mr. Grey i can't thank u enough for helpin me these last couple of years...I would love for us to be friends but I understand if u don't want to"

Friends? I think i could do that

"I would like tht Leila" and what she does next is such a surprise that I don't even have a chance to react she kisses me a soft sweet kiss that lasted a second but it left me with the need to feel loved so I jus leave without sayin a word to her and head to the car.

"Taylor take me to my parents house" i need to be around people that care about me


	3. Chapter 3

I stand in front of the mirror getting angrier and angrier, my hair just won't behave.

"Jose why don't we just stay home?" I see a look of dissapointment cross Jose face

"No! I mean we have to go, kate hasn't seen u in weeks besides you already told grace and mia u would be there"

Of course he was right. Truth be told I've really come to love grace dinner party's. The first I brought José as my boyfriend I didn't know what to expect but they welcomed him with open arms.

"I'm ready" and with that we walk to the car, but I have the worst feeling about tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

I have a strange feeling the drive to grace and Carrick. Something is going on I know it. As we walk into the house, I see the smiling faces of the friends I missed. Wait a minute why is ray here?

"Hey dad..what are you doing here?"

"Well Annie your boyfriend asked me to come"

Jose did what? Before I can ask Kate interrupts, in only a way Kate can.

"Ana listen to me everyone here cares for you deeply, we wanted to be apart of one of the greatest day of your life." Huh? But once I see Jose on one knee it all becomes clear.

"Ana I love you. I loved you since the day we met, will you marry me?"

I don't know what to say but what comes out my mouth is "yes" He puts the two carat ring on my finger and I fall in love with in instantly. All of a sudden I hear applause coming from the living room entrance. I turn around and steer at christian utterly shocked. I can't believe it, I almost want to hug him but I can't. He just stands there and says " congratulations to the both of you" huh what do I say to that? He proceeds to walk pass me straight to his family. After a couple of words with his mother he's leaving. As Jose and Carrick go get drinks I run after him. He almost makes it to the car when I grab his arm, and there it is that spark between us like it never left. I have so much I want to say but I can't find the words. He must know this because he simply says "Don't...just don't" and with that he drives away. When I walk back in the house my father says " Annie come take a picture with your new fiancé" That's all it takes to push me over the edge. Mia and Kate pull me aside.

"Are u ok ana?" Kate is crazy to ask such a dumb question

"No...how could he just leave like that" Mia laughs by mistake.

"What is so funny?" I don't mean to yell but I'm hurt and she's laughing

"I'm sorry ana, but u and Christian must shear a brain because he use to say the same thing about you" I can't do this I need to talk to Christian


	5. Chapter 5

FUCKING MARRIAGE!

These last three years I always thought, maybe I would fix myself and find my way back to ana, but now that's just not possible.I stayed away because she needed space. But she got with Jose shortly after she left me, so I had to move on because it wasn't healthy for me stuck on something I could never have.

Ugh I knew I shouldn't have gone there. But its my parents house somebody could have told me .I guess I can't blame them, I never really accepted their relationship with ana so I just stayed away from them.

" there is a anastasia here to see you" what? I could not have heard Andrea right.

"Send her in".

And like that there she stands walking threw the door very slowly no doubt trying to avoid what happened the first time, just thinking about it makes me laugh then she begins to laugh. I can't believe how much I have missed that sound, then I see her ring and my attitude changes.

"How may I help you Anastasia ?" I don't know what she wants but I can't do this

"Well I just wanted to know how you were doing" Really? surely she could have called.

"I'm fine"

"Your fine? That's all?"

"Yes I'm fine "

"Cut the crap christian"

"OK what do you want?"

" I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! I waited for you but u never came to see me. I know I hurt you but I thought we could at least be friends"

"Friends? U expect me to be friends with you ana? I loved you with everything I had, but you just left me"

"Christian I'm sorry I left, but I knew I was wrong for you we both needed more from each other"

"Ana you were the best thing to happen to me why would you ever think other wise"

"Christian can we please just be friends?"

There goes that friend word again i'm not sure I can be friends with ana but i miss her like crazy

"Ok friend does your fiancé know your here"

The look of pure horror on her face tells me he doesn't. She gets up abruptly and says this was a bad idea. Of course it was but I want her to remember it. I grab her and kiss her with all the pain I felt for the last three years and I know she is doing the same.

"Ana u have to go" I miss her and I love her but she would be better off with Jose, and that makes me sick.

"Christian don't do this. I love you, If you tell me you don't love me I will leave and never bother you again"

"Ana I don't love you "

I can't believe it but after three years, watching her begin to cry makes me regret every decision I made

.

.


	6. Chapter 6

Apov

He doesn't love me anymore. It's been a month since I seen him and all I can think is he doesn't love me anymore. I've cried so much when I think about crying it hurts. So here I sit with my mom, Kate and mia writing my save the dates.

"Hello earth to Ana" mia is waving a hand around in my face.

"Oh I'm sorry all these names are confusing". To be honest i couldn't care less who comes I just want this to be over.

"Shit" why on earth is Kate talking like that in front of my mother

" Kate what is wrong with you?" Her and my mom look like the want to change the subject of what every they were talking about, but mia on the other hand isn't going to let that happen

" Well Ana we were just wondering are you going to invite christian?"

Why would I. It's not like he cares enough to come. But I have to see him again.

"I don't know I wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable"

Without even thinking mia says

" If he brings his girlfriend he should be fine"

WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE MEAN GIRLFRIEND? I try to stay calm but I fail miserably

" He has a girlfriend? Why didn't you tell me mia"

I'm sorry ana it only been a few weeks...besides he asked me not to tell you."

Of course he doesn't want me to know. How dare I feel jealous when I'm getting married for gods sake

"Kate please make sure he gets one" I have to see this girlfriend of his. But back to these save the dates

"Ana dear who is Kayla Galloway?"

"Um I'm not sure mom...oh I remember she works with Jose"

"Oh well Jose called twice to make sure she got an invite"

"That doesn't surprise me they are close" ugh this wedding is getting on my nerves already.

Two weeks later

Cpov

"Leila its beautiful". I lie to her as I look at her painting I don't understand.

"You're the worst liar" she laughs but she has a point. These last couple of weeks with her have been different. Flynn let her leave treatment but she didn't have anyplace to go, so I let her come here. We had sex a few times but it was pointless. I was drunk and so was she. Sex is pointless when your heart belong to other people.

" sir the mail is here"

"Thank you Gail" Oh god don't let this be what I think it is. Yup it is a god damn save the date for Ana's wedding. I think I should take Leila as a friends...yea cause that's all we really are just friends.


	7. Chapter 7

_2months later _

Today is my bridal shower and so far I hate it.A lot of women came but I feel alone. I just don't want to be bothered.

"Ana you can't stay in this room in the middle of this party. Your getting married come live a little"

"Your right I should at least say hi"

"That's the spirit" Like always Kate was right; next thing I know it I had four drinks and I'm having a blast

"I'm having soo much fun Kate" I can't believe I Ana Rose Steele am the center of attention and I'm okay with it

"Ana...Ana I'm so sorry I'm late" finally mia is here but wait who is that with her. I steer at the beautiful brunette with light brown eyes and I dress that is stunning but simplem If I didn't know better I would think she was my twin.

"Mia I'm happy u made it" now who is this is what I want to say but I have to bite my tongue. So we stand there awkwardly until mia says

"Excuse me where are my manners? Ana this is Leila Christian's friend and Leila this is Ana my sister I never had" awwww mia I don't know where I would be if I didn't have her and Kate.

" Congratulations on the engagement...This is for you"

She gives me a gift wrapped in silver and black wrapping paper

"Oh wow you didn't have to Leila" I remember christian talking about a Leila but she was a sub not a girlfriend. But is she a girlfriend now? I have to get away from her

"Excuse me " ugh I was having a great time before she came well at least I can keep this short

"Okay everybody time for gifts" The faster I can open the gifts the faster my guest can a hour of opening a bunch of clothing I would never wear outside my bedroom. The last gift is Leila gift ...Crap!

"Ana before you open it I just wanted to say this is from christian" Double crap! What could it be ? First I read the note that says

"Dear Ana I wanted you to have a reminder of better times, before they become a fading moment in your past.I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you but the truth is I love you too much to put you threw the same pain I did three Years ago"

I open the box and find the glider I gave him so long ago. I can't believe he kept it but I can't believe he's giving it back to me. I should have stayed three years ago because the pain I feel now is nothing compared to the pain I felt that night in the playroom three years ago.


	8. Chapter 8

The wedding

Today is my wedding. I can't believe it but Jose wanted the wedding as soon as possible and I don't know why. I can't enjoy today because I can't stop thinking about Christian. I feel like he is done with me, what other reason would he have to give back the only thing I ever gave him. I can not keep doing this he moved on with Leila and I will be married in two hours. Wait TWO HOURS? HOLY CRAP I need to get ready. It would be embarrassing to be late for my own wedding

As I sit and get my hair and makeup done in walks a

very beautiful and completely ready Kate and Mia.

"Ana can we ask yousomething?"

I don't like the tone of Kate's voice. Its her you might be mad voice and the fact that she's using it today makes me panic.

"Kate what is it" I can't freak out today im barely holding it together

" Ana I just don't know how to ask this" Mia cuts in clearly not wanting to beat around the bush.

"Ana are you happy?" What a stupid question to ask mia knows how happy I am.

"Yes i'm very happy...why do you ask?"

"Ana we just don't want you to think you have to marry Jose because he proposed"

" Listen I love Jose... why wouldn't I marry somebody I love"

"I don't know... why would you leave somebody you love?"

Did she really just say that? I can't believe mia she doesn't know what happened with me and her brother.

"Ana listen to what I have to say...my brother loves you, he hasn't been the same since you left you have to know that. He changed things about his self for you and I never seen the two of you as happy as you were together"

" Mia me and Christiana moved on he has Leila and I have Jose"

"Ana he loves you and only you Leila is really just a friend, does that change anything?"

So he isn't t with Leila,but we still couldn't be together I've changed what if he doesn't like the new me

" I don't know what your trying to so but I love Jose and I will marry him"

"Ana if you tell us you feel nothing for Christian we will stand next to you and watch you marry the man you really love"

I could never lie but I won't answer that question on a day like today.

"I think you two should leave. The wedding will be starting soon"

As my two closest friends leave me with my thoughts I start to cry.

After a half an hour of pointless tears I stand and look at myself. I look amazing. My dress is simple a white strapless dress with lace on the bottom half and a Vail to match. All I could think about was Christian would love this dress. Oh no I'm going to cry again. But there is a knock on my door.

"Come in" I wonder who it is

"Um hi ana I don't know if you remember me I'm Kayla I work with Jose"

What is this aboutI really don't feel like talking

"Hi kayla what can I help you with?"

"Well Jose asked me to come here"

I start to panic instantly,until Jose walks in.

"Ana we need to talk"

"OK can't it wait ?"

"No ana it can't. Listening ana I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore. I fell in love with kayla. I thought the sooner we got married the quicker my feelings for her would go away but they just grew. I never meant to hurt you I promise but I can't go threw with this wedding."

And jus like that my heart stops. He continued to talk but I just got lost in this growing pain in my chest. I finally snap out of it I have to get away from the two of them standing there holding hands HOW DARE THEY?HOW DARE HE?

"Well if your Finished I have a wedding to cancel"

I storm out the room and walk the halls of the quiet little church until I get to the alter. As I walk I hear everyone say how beautiful I look and it takes everything I have not to cry.

"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen there will be no wedding" everyone looks shocked but grace looks right at me as if she knows I'm about to break and wants to hold me.

"I know you are probably wondering why? Well you can't get married without a groom and you can't have a groom who is in love with somebody else." That last thought breaks me. The damn falls apart and I begin to cry. I got left on my wedding day. I hear somebody say "Ana sweetheart if he could hurt you like this he was never the one" I look into the eyes of grace around her is Elliot screaming about kicking Jose's ass and next to him is Kate and Mia asking me am I ok. But grace words stick out. I found the one for me three years ago and right now he is probably in his ivory tower and thats exactly where I want to be


	9. Chapter 9

cpov

I fell like shit today. today is Ana's wedding and i couldnt bring myself to go. On top of all of that Leila is moving out today. I'm not sure how i feel about that, on one hand i liked having her here because she was truly a really good friend. But on the other hand i hate how much she looks like Ana. Once she leaves i'll have nobody but myself and I don't even like the idea of that.

"You know you can stay longer if you really need to. I wouldnt want you to move to some crappy apartment."

"I will admit i'm going to miss it here but not every one can live in a palace"

We both laugh. I have been helping her pack all morning and after two hours we're finished. As we stand in the foyer I realize how far we came together. I know leila is really my friend. Who would have thought i have a friend.

"Oh my god this is stupid i'm moving thirty minutes away, So why am I about to cry."

"Dont feel bad i have that affect on women" She laughs and right after that we hear the ping of the elevator. I'm taking back by the site in front of me. There stands Ana in the most beautiful dress i"ve every seen, But she's been crying.

"um I'll leave you two alone. call me so we can do lunch" leila leaves and Ana rushes to me and hugs me so tight as if i'm a dream that mite dissapear if she lets go.

"Ana what happened. please don't tell me your a run away bride"

"No but jose is a runaway groom" She tells me about how jose fell in love with some girl and couldnt go threw with the wedding, I never wanted to punch the crap out of somebody so much in my life.

"Ana im soo sorry he put you threw that"

"christian im hurt brcause we were friends before anything he could have told me and i would have understood"

" some times people do things we dont understand"

she looks at me and she smiles

"christian why did you give me back the glider?"

"honestly i wanted you to remember what we had becuz i dont need the glider for that i have reminders in here" I place my hand over my heart. then she places her hand over my heart. i still for a moment but i need to feel her. So I crash my lips to hers and she does the same. i unzipper her dress and she takes off my shirt i catch a glimpse of her ring and stop

"ana we cant do this. your hurting right now and need a rebound but i cant have you that way if its going to lead to nothing" she looks at me dumbstruck

"christian its always been you. after three years it's only been you i see that now. this means nothing" she takes her ring off and throw it i let you go once i will never do it again."

she climbs on top of me and kisses me as if she is telling me something but in a way she is. She's sayin I love you please forgive me and i know that i will forgive her because i love her too much. I couldnt have her because she was with somebody else but now she isnt and she wants to be all mine. I hold her still on my lap and steer deep into her eyes and say

"ana this is me and im all of yours if you promise your all of mines"

"christian my heart always been your...always"

I have to have her so i indo my pants and enter a place i missed for three long years and i never been more content then I was that very moment.

**AUTHOR NOTES : I love that you all love the story good reviews make me write faster**


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